SUPER FISH

By: Kent Anderson

 

I’m sure you have all seen a nature special that highlights seasonal fish migrations up river. These fish, be they varieties of salmon or trout exhaust all their resources as they undertake the arduous return to their homeland. This annual migration is fraught with danger and many do not survive. For those who have what it takes their reward is to deposit their cache of eggs, thus propagating the species and their own specific genetic chapter. I have recently identified what I believe to be a previously undiscovered migration of fish, which I must share with you.

I was in Arizona for the Super Bowl. While I didn’t have a ticket to the big dance, I did spend Saturday with a film crew at the stadium and surrounding venues. Legions of fans and voyeurs were adding to the river of cash that was flowing through Arizona; lining the pockets of those whose pockets were already lined. Throngs of hopped up sports migrants clad in oversized football jerseys were shoveling trans fats and malted beverages down their necks at their favorite corporate eateries. The rhetoric was white hot. Fanatics of the two teams hurled opprobrious invectives at the top of their lungs.

 

“The Giants suck.”

 

“New England blows.”

 

Since I was being paid I was able to find the humor in this media generated conniption.

 

The point of all this exposition is to let you know that the table was set. Like that fabulous line in “Rounders”, “…you’ve got your table set, knife, fork, sauce…” The only difference was that in my case the sauce was Macallan 18 instead of A1. I passed Saturday night in the VIP area (Very Inebriated People) at a Super Bowl’s eve extravaganza. After I got my fill of whiskey and homogenized hip hop it was time to see the real Arizona. I was in the zone and jumped a cab to the casino. The greater Phoenix area is stocked with gaming options and Super Bowl week offered grand prospecting opportunities.

 

The poker room was throbbing. The tables were bulging with rabid fans suited up in their best NFL merchandise. My internal fish finder was humming. This species had traveled far and wide to reach their destination and were unloading their stockpiles of cash on the felt. I found a lucrative bend in the river where I dined heartily on a cash rich variety from New Jersey. At the end of the day or more precisely, in the wee small hours, it was a good time. More importantly it was an unexpected and profitable encounter with a geographically diverse fish migration. So here’s to forthcoming global spectacles and the migrations of fish they induce. If you find yourself at one of these blockbuster events in the future, do yourself a favor and find a poker game. You may just stumble upon some rich fishing grounds. Until next time…

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